threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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