Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i was born a porn star she said
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
