It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Randomize
