What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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