Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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