u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
