his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
