the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
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Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
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It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
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