I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
