quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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