I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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