that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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