you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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