He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
