I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
