we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
