I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
