I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
you win again, gameday.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Randomize
