I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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