So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
