i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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