Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
