Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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