I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
