also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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