the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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