he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
