She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
