I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
