yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize