Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
