People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
