just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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