I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
be right there i have to get my cape
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize