Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
