Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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