Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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