May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Randomize
