woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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