We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
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All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
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You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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