i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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