Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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