He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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