he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
