She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
