feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
