Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
