Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
