the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Randomize
