Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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