I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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