I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.