I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.