this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Here’s Why Hotel Photos On Travel Websites Are A Complete Hoax
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives