Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
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