Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
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some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
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College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Ladies don't puke and tell
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize