He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
